04.16.10

Neurological Assessment Results / Training

Posted in Uncategorized at 1:06 pm by Administrator

Hello all,

I’ve spent many hours this week training with Emily Beard Johnson (NeuroReorg.c0m) and it has inspired and reenergized me to the importance of this work.  As many of you know, I am slowly training to become a NR practitioner and am training under Emily.  There are only four NR practitioners in our country and no real training program.  So Emily and I are working towards the goal of this important work not dying.  Fortunately Emily is young and energetic and I not quite as young, but also energetic.

 I got to observe several different children’s evaluations and was able to, (for the first time) do some assessment myself.  (With my children serving as guinea pigs.)  My kiddos have actually done very well during our hiatus from the NR program.  Much of which I attribute to some very intense and connected therapeutic parenting.  And proof positive that the bulk of healing happens in our homes and in relationship and not in the therapist’s office.  (Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE our AT, but she has been a coach to move us to do the healing at home, which is what an AT should do.)  Of course there is still much to be done, but I was so pleased to see that we have moved forward and not back. 

The lack of regression has shown to me that again there are several important pieces to this healing puzzle.  If you are interested go back and read my post on how to help our children heal.  There is not a “magic pill” for the healing but many avenues to it.  The things I know for sure are:

  1.  These kids heal in relationship. 
  2. You have to get to the very primal level (body level) of the trauma.  This cannot be done through talk / cognitive therapies.  (Great options:  EMDR, EFT, yoga, anything rythmic, Reiki, NR, NFB, non-restrictive holding, TAAT etc. (Let me know if you have no idea what I’m talking about!))
  3. Consequences don’t work to change behavior in traumatized children.
  4. New brain growth must be stimulated for these children to truly be whole.  These children need to experience the things they missed.

I am again struck how God created us to grow, prosper, and our brains to properly wire, from inutero going forward in relationship.  When the connected relationship is not there we all suffer.

Blessings toward healing,

Melissa R.

www.wholechildcoaching.com “Perfect Love Casts Out Fear”

04.14.10

Neurological Reorganization

Posted in Uncategorized at 10:10 pm by Administrator

I’ve been doing my quarterly neurological reorganization training with Emily Beard Johnson.  Tomorrow she will assess and “brain map” where my kids are in brain functionality.  More about that later.  I’ll report once we’ve had our latest “exam”.  It should be interesting considering we’ve totally slacked off on doing our NR program for the last 5 months.  I do think though that sometimes breaks are needed.  As Emily said, NR is a marathon, not a sprint!

Blessings, Melissa

To Russia With(out) Love

Posted in Uncategorized at 9:59 pm by Administrator

Ok, maybe not the best title, but did love fail the little guy who was sent back to Russia by him mom?  So what do we think happened in this situation?  Did the agency fail them?  Was there not enough appropriate pre-adoption education?  Was there enough appropriate pre-adoption education, but the family was in denial?  Obviously there was a break-down somewhere and this little boy and 100,000′s orphans will now reap the consequences. 

After working in the adoption world for the better part of 10 years, I do believe that the problem is two-fold.   First, often families ARE in denial about what can happen after their child comes home even when they’ve had appropriate education.    Second, families are truly not given the appropriate education about the challenges that these children bring.  So much of the education (even the education I have delivered) has been about attachment and bonding, and how we can help our children attach once they get home.  That’s all well and good, but how much better would it have been to have someone really explain about the traumatized brain and how developmental trauma affects children.  Truly 10 years ago, (even after years of teaching SN and NSN kids), I had no concept of how trauma manifests itself at the very base, primal level the brain.  It was such a lightbulb moment for me when I realized that my children did not come equipped with the ability to emotionally regulate.

So for the poor little guy that was bundled off and shipped back to Russia, it’s so sad that his mom did not understand how his fear was manifesting.  I’m sure to her he was just manipulative, mean, and controlling.  Oh how I wish that she could have had the love to see through to his deep pain and woundedness.

This is sacred work that God has called us to do.  The mission field has moved into our homes!  I choose joy and find a great calling in helping my children heal.  And in the midst of it, they are helping me heal too.

Blessings to healing,

Melissa R.                             ”Perfect Love Casts Out Fear”

www.wholechildcoaching.com

04.05.10

Clinginess

Posted in Uncategorized at 8:10 am by Administrator

Do you ever get tired of your kids’ clinginess?  Man I do.  Even after many years post-adoption, I still have a velcro baby. Then I remind myself that chronological age and emotional age are NOT always the same. And for kids with trauma they are almost always different.  When I see that clinginess happen, I breathe and then ask myself, what would I do if I were looking at a 1, 2, or 3 year old child?  Pretty easy to answer, but hard to enact when you are physically looking at an older child.

Melissa
www.wholechildcoaching.com

04.04.10

Easter

Posted in Uncategorized at 5:33 pm by Administrator

Happy Easter! In the midst of holidays I evidently contine to be surpised whe some of my kiddos most dysregulated behaviors surface. Why this always sneaks up on me is something I am continuing to figure out. I believe it has to do with my own patterning. I loved holidays as a kid and all the hoopla that went with them. They were not dysregulating in the least. But then I was a neurotypical kid. I am sure deep down that is my expectation for my kids. Yet I want my kids to enjoy kid things, so we are learning to modify and make things smaller.

Continuing to learn on this day of new beginnings. He is risen!

Blessings,
Melissa
www.wholechildcoaching.com