10.29.10

Homeopathy for Healing – A Good Explanation

Posted in Uncategorized at 8:25 am by Administrator

Homeopathy is a term that is often misconstrued and confused with naturopathic medicine.  Homeopathy is a very distinct form of medicine that employs the law of similars.  Here is a good explanation from Dr. Michael Smith of Carolinas Natural Health Center:

Symptoms are the body’s only way of telling you that something is wrong or out of balance. The pain is your body’s way to stop yourself from further injury and forces you to rest. The cough is the body trying to expel something from your lungs and the fever is one of the body’s most vital means of fighting an infection.

Instead of suppressive conventional therapies, homeopathy offers an approach that works with the body’s natural ability to heal. It is a system of medicine that is based on the laws of similars. This law of nature states that a disease can be cured by using a substance that can produce the same or similar symptoms of the disease.

Over 200 years ago, Samuel Hahnemann organized the system of medicine of Homeopathy. He was familiar with the law of similars and put it to use after observing his own symptoms after taking quinine. He realized that the symptoms he developed were very similar to the symptoms of malaria. Hahnemann remembered this and decided to conduct an experiment using it in the next case of malaria he saw. Amazingly, the patient was rapidly cured when given quinine. Hahnemann recorded the symptoms of more and more substances, and without fail, cured the diseases those symptoms represented.

Today homeopathy is practiced around the world, and in some countries it stands as the primary method of treatment. Although the popularity of homeopathy has waxed and waned over the past two hundred years it has been again growing in popularity as people acknowledge its ability to restore health and often cure the incurable.

When using homeopathy, a trained practitioner takes time to understand all of the symptoms of the patient. Not only are the physical symptoms of their disease important, but the mental and emotional symptoms are also essential in choosing the best homeopathic remedy for that individual.

Homeopathic medicines are extremely safe and effective. They are mostly made from plants, minerals or animals. These substances are given in miniscule doses to eliminate the possibility of any side effects.

There are many products on the market that make mention of homeopathy or homeopathic. It is only truly homeopathic if the substance in the product can produce similar symptoms to the person taking it is presenting. Only when the symptoms of the person match the symptoms of the medicine is it homeopathic.

Homeopathy can be effective in treating most acute conditions, like the common cold, the flu and ear infections; It is also successful in treating more serious and chronic diseases like ADHD, Autism, irritable bowel, crohns, ulcerative colitis, eczema, multiple sclerosis, rheumatoid arthritis, lupus and other auto-immune conditions; and mental emotional conditions such as depression, anxiety, and bi-polar disorder.

When choosing homeopathy to treat these conditions it is important to realize that there is real healing taking place. Although the process of treatment may take months or years for more chronic diseases, with every little improvement there is true healing that is taking place.

10.28.10

How to Help Our Children Heal / Develop Wholly – Repost

Posted in Uncategorized at 11:46 am by Administrator

I figured this was worth repeating this information from almost a year ago!

Even though a “cure” would be perfect in helping children with trauma heal, a magic pill is not to be had.  So there is a “formula” that needs to be adhered to so that they can heal.  Additionally, I know that ALL children need these things in varying degrees to wholly develop.

So now for the formula. I truly feel that in order for our children to heal / wholly develop, there must be a four-pronged approach. So now for the four prongs (with some explanation). Our children must have:

1. Therapeutic / love-based parenting. This means we, as parents, have to figure out our own stuff so that we can successfully bond with our children and parent them from a place of unconditional love. Most of our kids have very little in the way of emotional regulation and we must love them and give them our emotional regulation. Through helping them emotionally regulate they create new neural pathways. We as parents also have to help them fill in the developmental gaps that are missing.  Additionally, all kiddos have varying degrees of emotional regulations and need help with regulation.  Don’t mistake your kiddos for “little adults”.

2. Solid nutrition and supplementation. The brains of kids’ that have had trauma are truly “on fire” with excitatory neurotransmitters and and solid nutrition and supplementation (such as targeted amino acid therapy) can “calm the storm”. This in turn allows for therapeutic work to happen (gives some foundation and support). Sometimes our kiddos need special diets as well, as their histamines can be way up. Sometimes they need to be gluten free etc.  Additionally, homeopathy is a way for children’s bodies and brains to heal from the inside out.  Homeopathy is not about suppressing symptoms, it is about bodies actually healing (more about this later).

All kids need solid nutrition and supplementation.  Parents need to be educated about the food we are putting in our kids bodies and the medicines / vaccinations that we are introducing in their systems.

3. Therapeutic body / brain work. There are many ways to get at this, but when children have experienced trauma they have developmental gaps in their brains. (Imagine the brain as a pyramid of blocks, some of our kids blocks are filled in, but many of them in the lower levels of the brain are not.) So our kids need neuroreorganization work, neurofeedback, regression (although it’s not truly regression if they never got it in the first place), EMDR, massage, yoga, movement therapy, EFT (Emotional Freedom), AVE (audio visual entrainment).  There is quite a few different therapies that access the lower levels of thebrain. But, per Dr. Bruce Perry, in order for therapies to be healing they need to be rythmic. We have used a variety of techniques with our children. We are currently working through filling in developmental gaps with neurological reorganization, but we have also done EMDR, massage, yoga, and AVE. I think families have to figure out what works for them.

For parents who are parenting neuro-typical kiddos, do not underestimate the role of touch, nurturing, creeping, crawling, breastfeeding etc.  These things create the building blocks for future growth / development.

4. Parent Support. Parents must be supported through the healing process of
the children. This includes working with a good attachment therapist, both for the child and for yourself. Being part of an attachment support group, getting in touch with your spirituality, parent coaching, taking care of yourself (massage etc )and having a supportive group of friends.  I also have a prayer group, that I meet with bi-weekly. And I have two friends that have children that are also challenging and I can call them at a drop of a hat.

All parents need people in their lives that can be emotionally present with them; not judging, not suggesting, not critiquing, just being “there”.  This makes it possible for us (parents) to learn to listen to their God-given “sixth” – parenting sense.  Some people call this, listening to your gut.  Get quiet and listen to your gut!

I will add that in my life, I could not walk this walk personally or professionally without a whole lot of prayer.  Prayer is what, in my darkest hours, sustains me.  I have also fervently prayed for God’s healing of my children.  I do believe that He is the ultimate healer.

This is a very reader’s digest version of many, many years of research, but take it for what it is.

Sincerely and blessings towards healing,

Melissa E. Robinson, MAT, BCI Certified Trainer
www.wholechildcoaching.com

“Perfect Love Casts Out Fear”

10.26.10

Back to school….Teacher Conferences

Posted in Uncategorized at 7:44 am by Administrator

Ok, long overdue, but here are my best tips for teacher conferences:

  1. Ground yourself in prayer and/or meditation ahead of time.
  2. Hopefully you have worked to create a positive relationship with the teacher before the conference.  If not, start now!
  3. If you feel it is not going to be a short conference, then ask the teacher to schedule extra time.
  4. Don’t go in with an attitude.  Try to see things from your teacher’s perspective.  They are under a great deal of pressure.
  5. It certainly doesn’t hurt to go in with a gift of appreciation.
  6. Be your child’s best advocate.  Sometimes parents get so much advice from so many different people they lose sight of what is best for their child.  Train yourself to be still and meditate.  You have been given a “sixth” sense or parenting sense – your gut.  This will never lead you wrong.  Still all the other voices and listen to your gut.
  7. If your child has special needs, don’t expect that your child’s teacher is going to be an expert in those special needs.  You have got to be the expert.  But present this information in a spirit of humbleness.
  8. If the teacher is obstinate or difficult to deal with, keep your cool / stay regulated, and don’t be afraid to pull in administration if needed.
  9. Plan ahead of time the questions you want to ask.
  10. If things are not going smoothly for your child.  Come up with an action plan with your child’s teacher with items that you and the teacher will be working on.  Make an appointment to meet again in two to four weeks.
  11. Lastly, don’t be paralized by fear!  You are your child’d best advocate!  Sometimes we have to get creative with our options for our kids.  Don’t be afraid to make hard and radical decisions.

Blessings,

Melissa

Didn’t drop off face of the earth…..

Posted in Uncategorized at 7:30 am by Administrator

Well I have not dropped off the face of the earth.  My hubby’s dad fell and broke his at the end of the summer and things have rapidly declined for he and my mother-in-law.  They are wonderful Godly people.  My FIL is a pastor and has been for 50 years.  It is hard to see them suffer so much and sometimes hard to figure out God’s role in this.  The wonderful thing is that all three families have pulled together and are providing care for them.  It has been a lot of going back and forth to a town 45 minutes away.  Life is interesting in the way it twists and turns.

On a different note, I have started working for Carolinas Natural Health Center.   What a blessing as things were tight on only one income.  I am coaching clients on their journeys to health.  I am still providing parent and life coaching, and I love it!  Check us out at www.carolinasnaturalhealth.com

Blessings,

Melissa

08.24.10

Back to School – #1

Posted in Uncategorized at 6:43 am by Administrator

Ok, most are already going back to school soon or have already started.  Being a past public school teacher, I wanted to spend a few minutes talking about teachers.  First, teachers get no training in childhood trauma and how to manage these children.  The training the teachers receive is behavior based and almost wholly based on how to extinguish incorrect behavior.  There is very little or no training given to where these kiddos behaviors are coming from.  It is a rare teacher that has done training on how to reach and teach non-neuro typical children.  So it is up to us as parents to help educate parents and administration as to how to best reach and teach our kids.  Here are my best tips:

  1. Truly try to empathize where your child’s teacher is coming from.  They are under tremendous pressure to meet state and national standards and work in a system of accountability.  This system of accountability (standardized testing) creates a system of stress from the top down because school monies and bonuses are often tied into the testing scores.  This system does NOT teach the way children learn.  Not to mention that teachers often have overpopulated classrooms and need to teach to a wide variety of needs.
  2. Start off soft with your teacher by offering to volunteer and help with what you can.  Offer to volunteer one day a week to do whatever the teacher needs.  Bring small gifts to your teacher (cup of coffee etc.)  Once the teacher sees that you are “on her side” she will be able to better hear what you have to say.
  3. Be soft, but assertive at the beginning.  Proactive, proactive, proactive is the key.  Don’t wait until there is a problem to bring up your child’s trauma.  The first conference is often in October, this is WAY to long to wait to let your child’s teacher know about your child’s history.  DON’T stand at your teacher’s door for an impromptu meeting.  This is very difficult for teachers. It is distracting and not safe for the rest of the class.  Plus you will not have the teacher’s undivided attention.  It would be much better to give a little gift with a note attached that you would like to have a meeting.

Stay tuned for the next post about how to manage the first conference.

Blessings,

Melissa

08.16.10

Back to School

Posted in Uncategorized at 2:09 pm by Administrator

As all of us approach back to school we often dread the behavior report cards that come home everyday.  Will our little one be on red for talking in line or not raising their hand?  More importantly how does the trigger you and how connected you feel with your child.  In the next two weeks I will be blogging about back to school issues and how to deal with them.

Stay tuned….

Melissa R.

07.30.10

Summertime….

Posted in Uncategorized at 9:17 am by Administrator

The summer is zipping by with some extremely hot days here in Charlotte, NC.  We continue on with TAAT (targeted amino acid therapy) and have started seeing a Naturopathic Doctor both for me and for one of our DD’s.  For me the ND and using homeopathy has been nothing  short of a miracle for treating the Meneire’s Disease.  It has been almost a month with no vertigo.  I have been reading a fascinating book, “Impossible Cure” about homeopathy.  There truly seems to be some great promise in homeopathy and it certainly ties right into how I believe the body functions, as a whole and not individual parts.

So that being said, we will start homeopathy with our other DD soon.  Of course in NC insurance covers NO alternative medicine, but I can get as much Valium as I want for the vertigo (which I have never taken).  Anyway, I digress, we have come to the conculsion that one of our DDs is on the autism spectrum.  Hard to say if it is a result of institutionalization or not.  I have been reading some good articles regarding this by Ron Federici.  http://www.rainbowkids.com/expertarticledetails.aspx?id=59

I think that our DD’s situation is that she probably already had an inherant tendancy towards autism and the institutionlization may have initiated it.  It is hard to say and I am amazed at how complex the body/mind is.

Blessings,

Melissa R.

www.wholechildcoaching.com

06.14.10

ADHD – Are you sure?

Posted in Uncategorized at 8:25 am by Administrator

Many, many kids with developmental trauma have a diagnosis of ADHD.  A diagnosis of a child that truly has clinical ADHD is hard to come by because so much of it is based on anecdotal observations and observational checklist.  I had some fabulous training from Dr. Ed Hamlin of the Pisgah institute in Asheville, NC.  I’ve heard this same explanation backed up by the work of van der Kulk and Bruce Perry. 

When children experience developmental trauma (DT) it fundamentally changes the blueprints / wiring of the brain.  Both in the way the brain wires (mylination) and in the brain chemistry (neurotransmitters).  The amygdala is like the watchdog of the brain and acts much like a filter for incoming signals.  So the example I always use is, if you are sleeping, the amydala is always keeping watch for you and filtering out all the routine sounds in your house.  If though, a window breaks in your house, then your amygdala is going to wake you up with all the fight, flight or freeze responses.  You check out the problem and realize it was just a branch hitting your window, not a life-threatening situation.  Your body eventually restores to homeostasis and you eventually go back to sleep. 

For our kids with DT, they have lived for periods of time in fight, flight or freeze.  Their brain then gets wired to stay in this state.  So the brain is always “on” keeping watch, being in fight, flight, or freeze.  They have lost the ability to return to homeostatis.  This hyperaroused state is their normal.  So this looks very much like ADHD because they are unable to be still and attend because of the hyperaroused state.

ADHD drugs primarily work on the neocortex (frontal lobe) to stimulate activity in the frontal lobe.  Truly we could all take Ritalin (or whatever ADHD med) and perform better.  BUT ADHD drugs do not reach the amydala and so therefore are not reaching the root cause of the issue.

Truly kids with DT must have neurotransmitter support (supplementation and diet), therapeutic parenting, processing of trauma at the body level, and time.

I hope this helps explain some of the mechanism of what is happening in the brain of kids with DT.

Blessings,

Melissa R.
www.wholechildcoaching.com

06.13.10

When Siblings Become Traumatized by Heather Forbes, LCSW

Posted in Uncategorized at 6:56 pm by Administrator

Hey guys,

Here’s a great article from Heather Forbes (Beyond Consequences) about when siblings are traumatized when dealing with a difficult brother or sister.  Forwarded with Heather’s permission:

Q: For the past three years, our 16-year-old daughter, Jackie, has had to deal with the complete chaos of her younger adopted sister who was severely traumatized before we adopted her. Jackie was an only child before my husband and I adopted and my world revolved around Jackie. We lived a relatively peaceful, fun, and happy life. All of that drastically changed once her sister entered our family. I realize now that Jackie has been traumatized by the disruption, fear, and struggles our family has endured. What can I do to help my daughter, without dismissing the trauma she has gone through?  
A: You’re exactly right when your say Jackie’s trauma of living with a severely traumatized younger sister cannot be dismissed. In fact, her experience needs to be maximized and brought to the surface in order for her to find healing. Jackie needs the emotional space to be heard and to be understood.

However, listening to your daughter’s challenges can easily evoke feelings of guilt, shame, and perhaps, resentment in you. When this happens, all too often, parents inadvertently stop listening and work to minimize or stop their child’s pain, closing off this child’s needed opportunity to have a voice.

The first place to start is to realize that you cannot fix Jackie’s experiences from the past three years. What is, is. Yet, what you can do is work to understand her experiences (getting into her shoes) and giving her the time, patience, and emotional space to discharge ALL of her feelings.

It takes being willing to commiserate with her and allowing her to express her story, not just at the cognitive level, but at the emotional level. Absorbing her pain means not responding in a defensive or a minimizing manner and not giving her solutions for the moment (that can come later).

A conversation might sound something like this:

Mom: “Sweetheart, there is something that I haven’t recognized about your life. I haven’t seen how difficult it has been for you since your sister came home. For the last three years, especially when she came home, I ignored you, I didn’t pay the same amount of attention to you, and I wasn’t there for you.”

Jackie: “You just care for her more than you do for me!”

Mom: “Is that what it feels like?”

Jackie: “Yes! She gets ALL the attention. You sleep with her, you cater to her every need, and you spend all your time with her.”

Mom: “I do. And where does that leave you?”

Jackie: “With NOTHING! Everything I ever had is gone. I’m MAD. I’m so tired of her. I’m tired of her meltdowns. I love her but I don’t love her and I want it to go back to the way it was before she was here. I don’t want it to be this way.”

Mom: “I hear you, honey. Tell me more. Tell me how hard this has been for you because I’ve expected you to be the grown up in this. Tell me how that’s not fair to you.”

Jackie: “It isn’t fair. She embarrasses me. She can’t do anything. WE can’t do anything and our whole life is centered around everything that SHE ever does. We can’t do anything we used to do. Everything is different. I just want it to go back; I just want it to go back to the way it was before.”

Mom: “I know…..” (quietly pausing and working to stay present with her daughter)

Jackie: “I’m angry.”

Mom: “Are you angry at me and dad for doing this? Tell me. I can handle your anger. I want you to give it all out to me. I haven’t known how angry you are at me…I’m okay with it. Tell me ‘I’m mad at you, mom!’”

Jackie: “I’m mad. I’m mad at everything. I hate that you and dad did this to me. Why didn’t you love me enough not to mess up my entire life??!!?”

This conversation might need to continue for a while, each time with mom “dancing” with whatever her daughter says in return, allowing her daughter to lead the conversation. Yet, the most important part of such a dialogue is that it happens with emotional intensity, at the heart level.

Allowing Jackie the safety of a parent who is present and working to just listen, will allow her to discharge her anger, pain, and frustration now and not in the heat of a difficult moment when her sister is melting down.

But perhaps you are saying that you’ve tried this and these types of conversations happen over and over without movement forward.

If this is the case, then you have to dig deeper. Are you stopping your daughter at any level? Are you really able to handle her anger and pain? What feelings inside of you are coming up when she is expressing? Guilt? Fear of the future? Helplessness?

Feeling the depth of your child’s pain in these moments, coupled with your own dark feelings that have not been honored or expressed, will shut you down. Your daughter will feel this. Thus, her expression is not being heard and she stays stuck in her healing process. Then conversations like the one above will keep looping and looping, keeping everyone in a state of victimhood.

You have to allow your pain to be felt, honored, and understood. In order for you to feel your child’s pain, you have to feel your own pain first. This can be scary. It may seem that if you feel the depth of pain within you, opening up the floodgates, you won’t be able to parent effectively and you won’t be able to pull it together.

Ironically, this is exactly what keeps parents from being able to parent the way their children need them to. Parents have to go deep within the caverns of their own hearts. They have to own and acknowledge their own pain.

Parents have to stay in their hearts; that is where their children are living.

Effective parenting ultimately comes from self-love, self-discovery, and self-understanding. Love yourself through your pain in order to get to the depth of your child’s pain. Healing resides within this powerful dynamic.

 
Press on,  
Heather  
Heather T. Forbes, LCSW
Parent and Author of Beyond Consequences, Logic & Control: Volume 1 & Volume 2, and Dare to Love

P.S. Check out our newest Ask the Expert interview with Claudia Roberts. Just click on the link to start listening. http://www.asktheexpertinterviews.com

06.10.10

Mother’s Day Conference, first installment

Posted in Uncategorized at 8:54 am by Administrator

Hey all,

I got back from the BCI Mother’s Day conference almost three weeks ago and it has given me much to think about and process.  Here are some random thoughts:

1.  It was a profound experience and blessing to be in the midst of so many remarkable women and warrior moms. 

2.  I was amazed at the depths of strength that the women at the conference showed at facing their own deep fears and wounds (that were inhibiting their ability to parent from a place a love).

3. I had the immeasureable blessing of being able to be a part of someone coming to a real place of healing and getting “unstuck”.  I was in a very real sense able to be God’s hands and feet.

4.  I was amazed at several layers of my personal “onion” that still had not been peeled away.  Healing is a continual process that will utimately never be completely done because life is ever-changing.

5.  Heather Forbes does a remarkable job of creating a safe place for people to feel free to process through whatever they are dealing with at the moment.

More to come later….

Melissa

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